Okay, so it's been a very very long time since I last had my entry, and I didn't like it lol but I'm not deleting it durhurr~ so, my vacation is a hugs W-A-S-T-E. I haven't done anything productive(except from watching Running Man again and again) and I've been such a lazyass. TT_TT

Anyway, Running Man. RUNNING MAN. LOLOLOL I love this show. After I finished watching ShinPD with MBLAQ and Super Junior, I started watching it to perv on watch Joong Ki, but on the first episode I loved it. I also got to know some faces such as Suk Jin, Gary and HaHa(yes, that is HaHa) who are really really funny. The show is really cool and I don't get why it has an average to sorta low ratings.

OMFG the Photo Zone =)) Gary you're such a natural XD and I'm at episode 7 already WOOOT

And FUUUUUUU I was eating dinner while waiting for episode 7 part 3 to load. So, after I finished eating, part 3 was halfway loaded. And WTF Youtube suddenly crashed, causing the loaded vids(ep7 parts 1 and 2) to rebuffer aljbdsugdygasbd so here I am again loading them one by one.

Oh well, RUNNING MAN FIGHTING!!!

Why am I like this? It's the past, but why can't I just get over it and start again? The years ending, a new year will come, but I still feel like I'm on that same stepping stone I was before. No matter how hard I try, I can't get away from it.

I'm the idiot, fine. I wasn't able to get over you when I had the chance. I wasted so much time thinking about something that would never happen. It was my mistake thinking you'd come back to me like before. It was my mistake for loving you more than you would never love me. I was too foolish to believe that your promise was real, when it was never real. I held on so tight to the past, that little did I know, my past was slipping away from my hands. I knew in the first place, that I'll never have you, but I never gave up.

Now, that you have someone else. Someone better than the plain, clumsy and immature me whom you never noticed. Someone who would watch over you better than I did. Someone

It was my mistake for being so ambitious that I was taken over by it. I tried reaching for something beyond my feelings and emotions. I was blinded by the sweetness of the past to the bitterness of the present. No wonder I feel like this now.

It was my mistake:

1. For thinking you'd come back to me, yes.

2. For not moving on starting a new life.

3. For not doing anything about the two previous situations.

4. For not making you love me, which I know was too selfish of me.

5. For trying to be happy for you when I know I can't.

난 아직 제자리죠 여전히 그대 곁에서 헤매이다 지쳐서

오늘도 그댈 맴돌다 하루 또 하루 흘러 흘러서 여기까지 온거죠

알면서 아픈 내 맘 알면서도

웃는 그대가 날 더 아프게 하죠

나를 더 사랑하게 만들지 못한 내 잘못이죠

내가 더 사랑해서 만들어버린 내 잘못이죠

내 마음만큼 나를 더 사랑하게 하지 못했었던거였죠 내 잘못이죠

얼마나 더 많은 시간을 눈물을 흘려야하나요 그 약속만을 믿으며

기다려달라던 거짓말 이제 속았던 내 욕심도 지쳐 버리고 만거죠

알면서 아픈 내 맘 다 알면서

그렇게 모른 척 웃을 순 없잖아요

나를 더 사랑하게 만들지 못한 내 잘못이죠

내가 더 사랑해서 만들어버린 내 잘못이죠

내 마음만큼 나를 더 사랑하게 하지 못했었던거였죠 내 잘못이죠

가질 수 없는걸 알면서 멋대로 커진 내 마음이

혼자서 기다리다가 혼자서 후회하다가 사랑한 것도 잘못이네요

아픈 줄 알면서도 잊지를 못한 내 잘못이죠 (내가 참 바보 같죠)

다칠 껄 알면서도 비우지 못한 내 잘못이죠 (내 잘못이죠)

모든 게 내 탓이래도 (모든 게 내 탓이래도) 그래도 괜찮아요 그대만 있다면 언제까지나

이런 날 용서해줘요 그댈 사랑한 날...

And it only took me 5 words before I cried in silence.

Who was I anyway, to react that way? I was just an old friend. And old friend, forgotten. But, guess what? Even if we don't talk that much, even if we don't see each other, I was concerned about you.

Now that you've seriously changed, I felt like leaving you. But I won't. I don't want to. I still want to be here, in case you'd come back.